Note: In the last blog post, I said we’d continue talking about longings, but this morning, I decided I must post these thoughts. Believe me, next Monday we’ll resume Listening to Our Longings.
Sometimes I Do Dumb Things!
I arrived for the job interview filled with anticipation and anxiety. Extra attention was given to grooming that morning. I wanted to appear professional, yet not fuddy duddy. My nicely updated resume’ was tucked into a neat folder.
I really wanted this job.
I’d been a single mother for a little over a year. My daughter’s father was faithful paying child support. While I was grateful because I’d learned this wasn’t the good fortune of many divorced moms, the new reality of being the primary breadwinner struck each month when bills came due.
I’d managed to secure a loan for a small house. House payment. Used car that wouldn’t run forever. Many responsibilities my younger-self hadn’t considered months earlier. Running a household and raising a child on my own hadn’t been part of my life dreams nor preparation.
I wanted this job and needed the nice chunk of extra income it would provide.
Mr. B. and I seemed to ‘click’ right away. The interview was going well. I knew he was pleased with my secretarial skills and felt he liked me. After an hour or so, he leaned back in his chair, smiled reassuringly and said, “You seem to be a very capable and competent young woman.” Yeah! This job is going to be mine!
Then…I panicked! I still recall the quick thought scampering across my brain: Perhaps you’ve made a too-good-impression! Before I could pray, “Take control of what I say, Lord…,” I blurted out,
“Sometimes I do dumb things!”
Mr. B’s neck jerked to one side, and he asked incredulously, “Do you do these dumb things at work?” “Sometimes!” I admitted sheepishly.
Mr. B. was a person whose liberal laugh began in the pit of his belly, gaining momentum inch by inch, until finally exploding in a roar that could be heard a very long distance. He laughed until tears filled his eyes.
I got the job. Mr. B. told me later he’d planned to hire me early on in our interview, but when I made the comment about doing “dumb things,” he knew he must hire me. He needed to see what “dumb things” I was going to do! Then, with wise and sober reflection, Mr. B. empowered me with unforgettable words: “Sue, I’ve never found a mistake that can’t be fixed.”
Mr. B.’s expectations were high. He never hesitated to challenge me. Yes, I made mistakes while absorbing new information and developing new skills. A couple blunders were significant, but all were “fixable,” and with Mr. B., all were “forgivable.”
Why do I tell this story, and how does it relate to the Listening on the Journey blog?
I’ll begin with the admission that technology is not my forte!
I love to write, and developing the craft of writing is a deep desire. I do not, however, enjoy the computer. I’ve never been curious about how a computer does what it does. I only want to know which buttons to push so it will do what I need it to do.
I love real books. Until someone encouraged me to write one, I’d never read a blog. When I stopped resisting and began exploring, I discovered a ‘ton’ of great blogs, written by skilled and insightful authors.
I love to meet friends and visit over coffee or lunch. Social media? That’s something else. Until I was told I needed to be friendlier on Facebook, I checked my account every 3-6 weeks. Only recently did I ‘get it’ that people really like to be ‘liked.” My young friend, Brittany, explained Twitter and Instagram to me one evening, but alas, I’ve misplaced the notes from our conversation and have no idea what to do next with those pieces of social media!
Today, I read comments about recent blogs, and was touched by a note from Sharon (not her real name). Sharon is navigating the challenges of an incurable cancer—a journey I’ve not traveled. The “When Life Feels Off-Kilter” blog resonated with Sharon who explained she’s experienced ‘off-kilter’ years.
All of a sudden writing these posts became very real. Like during my interview with Mr. B many years ago, I panicked. What if I write something that gives the wrong impression? What if the words I craft hurt someone’s discouraged heart, come across patronizing, flippant, uncaring or mean? I assure you, this will never be my intention, but, as you now know,
Sometimes I do dumb things!
When that happens—if I press the wrong button at the wrong time, I hope you’ll help me learn from my mistakes. I ask you to forgive my blunders. I welcome your feedback.
For many months I’ve been praying for every person who will read this blog. Today, I realized one has a name and a very serious need. After reading Sharon’s comment, I pulled out a new journal, which is now my Blog Prayer Request Journal. Sharon is the first entry. Will you join with me in praying for our sister sojourner?
Blessings on your journey….