The first two full weeks of this new year I had the joy and privilege of delivering devotionals to our church’s moms’ groups. One of the leader moms introduced me the first week with some very complimentary remarks, which I realized caused me to feel uneasy.
During the next few days I ruminated on what she said, and my mind was bombarded with feelings of inadequacies.
I’m not unfamiliar with this type of mental wrangling. Honestly, I’ve struggled most of my lifetime feeling woefully inadequate.
If you’re nodding in agreement right now, I wouldn’t be surprised. I believe we have an enemy of our souls whose primary strategy is to spew lies that keep us in a state of feeling perpetually unworthy and insufficient.
You’re not enough! You’ll never be enough! That’s what the enemy of our souls would like us to believe.
As I wrestled with this recent bout of feeling inadequate, I believe the Lord spoke some significant truths to my spirit.
First, yes, I am a very flawed woman.
Secondly, God’s grace is greater than my flaws.
The final revelation relates to the matter of repentance we’ve been discussing in the past few blog posts.
In my sincere desire to become a woman of authentic faith, I have remained a learner, pursued truth and been willing to allow the Holy Spirit to search my inmost being. When I’m convinced the Spirit has shown me a thought or behavior that doesn’t represent the heart of God, I have attempted to ‘turn from’ those attitudes or beliefs and have ‘turned toward’ others.
The process of ongoing repentance can be a lot of work since the roots of many thoughts, beliefs and behaviors run deeply. But for me, that process also turns my journey of faith away from mere dogma and doctrine toward an adventure of delightful discovery.
I’m convinced the adventure will continue until I take my last earthly breath. I suspect it will persist throughout eternity, although I admit, that’s a concept difficult to wrap one’s brain around.
Please join me next time as I unwrap a couple real life repentance examples.
In the meantime, I hope you’ll be willing to wrestle with any feelings of inadequacy and that you’ll invite God’s Spirit to reveal truth to the deepest part of your soul.
I’m praying for you!