Fear and Love
Sometimes, I feel overly critical of my early years in a strict fundamentalist faith tradition, but mostly, I am grateful. In many ways, it provided an environment where my innate longing for God—which I am convinced can only be planted by God’s Spirit—was nurtured.
Guilt and fear were tactics often used by preachers when I was growing up. These can be an effective means of keeping people in line, but it never worked well for me. My experience, though, mirrors what Dr. David Benner described in his book, “Surrender to Love.” (Chapter 2, Love and Fear)
“The hunger God had planted in me for him left me longing for a relationship with him not simply a way to avoid hell. Slowly a shift in my experience of God began to take place as I learned to meet him in my emotions and senses, not just my thoughts …. fear of a God whose wrath was primary began to be replaced with surrender to a God whose love was primary.”
The sovereign, all powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing God certainly can seem fearful, and perhaps for some, “fear” is a starting point to relationship. In reviewing my spiritual journey, though, I cannot recall an instance when guilt or fear motivated me toward God. Rather, what spurs me on to greater “surrender” is grasping a glimpse of God’s loving kindness. God’s pure, never-changing, unconditional love and acceptance makes me want to live more like Jesus, to turn away from behaviors that are not pleasing to God. (See Romans 2:4).
In days past, a hymn, “I Surrender All” was often sung in my church. I had a hard time singing that song because I knew it wasn’t true. I was always aware of some area I wasn’t yet able or willing to surrender. Today, I think I could honestly sing, “I want to surrender all,” but until the moment I take my last earthly breath, I imagine I will be in the ongoing process of surrender
Blessings on your journey of surrendering out of fear and into God’s love!
