Finding Grace in a Lonely Journey of Grief
A lonely journey of grief
My husband loves photographing scenes from nature. He watches for opportune moments to capture the constellations, birds migrating, sunrises, sunsets, or seasonal changes. Getting a great photo requires patience and perseverance.
Each March, Ron makes his way to the Chain Lakes wetlands in North Idaho to photograph the graceful swans who stop over in our home state while migrating from winter homes to their nesting sites in the arctic. Recently, Ron has had a couple conversations with a Fish and Game employee concerning the magnificent birds.
I found one story particularly poignant. Swans mate for life. If one dies, the partner may stay behind and not join its migrating flock. Oftentimes, the grief-stricken swan also dies because of not moving on.
I have studied the dynamics of loss and grief, attended grief groups, conducted grief debriefings, and have learned grief is not only difficult but lonely. The love and care of family, friends, and support groups are invaluable, but no person can truly understand another person’s journey of grief.
While a few people never seem able to rebound, I have observed more often the gracious resilience of the human spirit. Such strength is beautifully illustrated in a brilliant book concerning loss and grief. A Grace Disguised was written by Dr. Gerald Sittser after he lost his mother, wife, and four-year-old daughter in a tragic accident.
Concerning the intersection of grace into the journey of grief, Dr. Sittser writes,
Gifts of grace come to all of us. But we must be ready to see and willing to receive these gifts. It will require a kind of sacrifice, the sacrifice of believing that, however painful our losses, life can still be good — good in a different way than before, but nevertheless good. I will never recover from my loss and I will never get over missing the ones I lost. But I still cherish life. . . . I will always want the ones I lost back again. I long for them with all my soul. But I still celebrate the life I have found because they are gone. I have lost, but I have also gained. I lost the world I loved, but I gained a deeper awareness of grace. That grace has enabled me to clarify my purpose in life and rediscover the wonder of the present moment.
If you are journeying through a season of loss and grief, I am praying you will find hope and comfort as we enter the newness of Spring and reflect on the suffering, death, resurrection and hope we have because of Jesus.
Blessings on your journey of prayer,
