The Sadness – an Obstacle too Big?
Recognizing the good reasons we typically fall into the trauma trap…empowers us to think about alternative strategies.[i]
Bethany’s childhood story is filled with many sad pages. Hearing stories like hers may cause us to ask: Is an obstacle of sadness, such as dealing with the trauma of childhood abuse, too big to manage?
During the time I’ve worked in the field of counseling, I’ve heard many tragic stories. There was a period in my career when sometimes I felt so overwhelmed with the sadness of a client’s story—so weighted down with sympathy—I wanted to flee.
Sometimes the sadness in our own story feels crushing. We wonder if the obstacles necessary to achieve healing are simply too big. Running away seems easier than struggling to climb to heights of new health and happiness.
For several years, I served as a member of a critical incident management team. In the early 2000’s, I was introduced to a branch of psychological research exploring happiness and resilience. The topic fascinated me. I read whatever I could about the subject. The more secular literature I read, the more common threads I began to see between the research and scripture.
As my knowledge increased about the science behind happiness, I became convinced God built into the nature of humankind the characteristic of resilience.
The resilient person is able to speak gently to that little girl or little boy within. “Come on now; you’re ready; let’s take that first step and climb to heights of new health and happiness!”
As my understanding of resilience grew, I began to feel less sympathy and see more opportunity when I heard a sad story. Hope ignited as I observed people, who from the most horrific experiences, ‘bounced back.’ They not only survived, but they thrived.
Of the sadness in our stories, Dr. Dan Allender says, “Tragedy shapes our deepest passions, and our passions shape who we are and what we will become….As we do battle against the tragedy of our story, we determine whom we will fight for and how we will rage the war of life.”[i]
I’m praying God will add meaning, create hope, and bless the pages of your story…
Blessings on your Journey…
[1] Sacred Stress – A Radically Different Approach to Using Life’s Challengers for Positive Change, George R. Faller, MS. LMFT & The Rev. Dr. Heather Wright, © 2016
[1] To be told, - God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future, Dan B. Allender, Ph.D., © 2005