Love God - Love Self - Love Others
I ponder often what Jesus called the “greatest commandment:” You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:37-39).
Perhaps it’s just me, but concerning this passage, it seems often, there is an assumption people automatically love themselves, and if that is the case, then what matters is to love God and love people. Those exact words in fact, are the Mission Statement of several Christian organizations.
But what about the little prepositional phrase, “as yourself?” What if I find it difficult to love myself?
For many years, I have worked in both counseling and ministry environments, and I understand many people do not love themselves. They long for love. They fight to love and be loved. But, in moments of honest reflection, they often doubt their lovability, question their self-worth, and are plagued with comparison. I’ve been there and done that!
In recognizing these issues in others and dealing with them myself, I am convinced we will be able to better love our neighbor, which is anyone whose life intersects with ours, when we allow God’s love to transform us in a way that promotes healthy self-love. When secure in God’s love for us, we can better love others with the deep, healthy, life-affirming love of God.
How? Here are a few steps I have found helpful in this slow—most likely lifelong—process:
First, go to Scripture and discover passages affirming God’s great love for me. This implants truth into the logical part of my brain where knowledge resides.
Next, think long, hard, and specific about how my own heart responds to biblical truths. Do I hear myself saying or thinking, “Well, yes, BUT …?” What doubts, fears, or guilt keep arising? What “downer” thoughts keep popping up? When under stress, where do my emotions spiral?
This process of combining self-awareness with meditation helps truth transition from my logical brain into my emotional or “heart” brain. I not only believe the truth of God’s love, but I begin to feel it. As the realization of how much God cherishes me simply for who I am sinks into the depths of my soul, I feel comfort, confidence, and freedom.
Finally, meet with someone who is trustworthy, knowledgeable, mature, wise, or trained in matters of the soul. This is vital to help me see blind spots, gain clarity, and develop behavioral action plans.
These steps have helped me not only spiritually but also relationally, intellectually, and even physically. If helpful to you during this post-resurrection season, I am grateful and would love to hear from you.
Blessings on your Journey,
