Moving Beyond “It’s About Me”
The prayer of Ignatius “Suscipe” is one I believe God wants me to focus on during 2023 and seems appropriate for today’s post.
If you did not read Monday’s post, I hope you’ll take a few minutes to check it out before reading todays.
I concluded that post with this question:
So, what do we do when another person throws a ball of hurtful words, unrestrained anger, unwelcomed criticism, or their own negative energy at us?
Here are three steps I believe will be helpful to both you and me:
Step 1: Receive that “ball” and clutch it closely to my heart.
Permit myself to feel the hurt before acting. Wallow a bit in the pain. My feelings are not wrong. They matter!
It’s important to not stay stuck in Step 1 but do allow time to get in touch with how I “feel.”
Examine what may lie beneath my feelings. Ask:
Is my anger fueled by past pains or fear?
Is any guilt I feel condemnation or is it a lesson God wants to help me learn?
Does truth in the other person’s words invite me to recognize negative emotions such as pride, envy, comparison, or shame?
At this moment, look at motivation. Am I tempted to consider revenge; build a wall; isolate; assume undue responsibility; or passively ignore or minimize the offense?
Step 2: Take that “ball” and imagine pitching it heavenward.
Permit my wounded soul to run into the loving arms of the Father of Compassion and the God of all comfort … (2 Corinthians 1:3)
Confess areas of conviction and negative emotions I know will damage my soul. (1 John 1:9)
Reject condemnation, declaring truth that … there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Let God know I forgive—or at least want to forgive—the offending person. Ask for the Spirit’s help to show me how to forgive fully or if needed, offer a sincere apology. (Matthew 6:14-15; John 14:26)
Pray for wisdom and direction to take the next healthy step toward reconciliation and restoration if—and when—possible. (Psalms 25:4-5; James 1:5).
Practice restraint until I feel certain I have received Divine directions to initiate action. (Ephesians 6:13b)
Ask God to bless and help the person who hurt me. This may be difficult but is very freeing! (Luke 6:28)
Step 3: Finally, don’t grab hold of that “ball” again. Instead toss it back graciously to the person who threw those hurtful words; unleashed toxic anger or unwelcomed criticism; or deflected their own negative energy at me. Move forward. Focus on my God design and doing the “good work” God created me to do! (Ephesians 2:10)
The words I write today are intended only as helpful considerations. Often, hurtful interpersonal interactions have deep roots. You may need the counsel of a trusted, godly, mature friend; the expertise of a qualified therapist; the encouragement and accountability of a life coach; or the soul friendship of a spiritual director to work through the painful encounter. I have sought guidance from each, which has been invaluable.
Blessings on Your Journey,
